Die Vorfreude

My Grandpa recently talked of how my Grandma’s daddy, Oscar Kieschnick, would speak of Die Vorfreude, especially around Christmas. Translated from German, it means “the joy of anticipation.” As Grandpa Ray tells it, “The joy of anticipation is something all by itself. It’s only two weeks until Christmas and all of the sudden, you realize Christmas is right around the corner and it hits you—the joy of anticipation.”

I know this feeling all too well. I experienced it upon realizing I would be returning to Texas. I dreamed of everything I would do—sleep more than five hours a night, go to our annual family reunion, visit my long-lost friends in Dallas, eat at Matt’s El Rancho in Dallas and Austin, spend quality time with my sister and Brian before and during their wedding, and see my parents. Most of all, I looked forward to those private family moments: moments that make you realize, as Grandpa says, “Family is everything.”

I had one of those moments at our most recent family reunion in Granbury, Texas this past July. The topic of who would host the next family reunion had come up. The reunion celebrates the Oscar and Lina Kieschnick family, who had nine siblings. My Grandma Ethel is one of those siblings. The first nine years and a few beyond, each of the siblings would trade off hosting the reunion but recently, the responsibility has fallen on the younger generation. Meredith, one of my cousins (a term I use broadly for most of my family), got up and said she would host the next family reunion and she wanted to continue the reunions for as long as possible. She passionately remarked, “You know how special this is? Nobody does this. All my friends only wished they looked forward to spending time with their families like we do.”

Then Grandpa stood up to sing. We end our reunion programs with a song. I made it halfway through the first verse before I lost it. Tears streamed down my face. I looked at the program to avoid looking around. Then I heard a small crack in Grandpa’s voice, inaudible to most, and looked up. I saw he was crying, too. In that moment, I was truly content with my life, and I knew I had even more to look forward to—the joy of the moment and the joy of anticipation all wrapped up in one.

For us, family is everything. I see it in Grandpa all the time. I witnessed it in the way he choked up on Christmas Eve while talking about how happy he was that each one of us was gathered in Walburg to celebrate this year.

Being away from family in New York only reinforced my feelings. That’s part of the reason why I reacted so strongly to Meredith’s words at the family reunion. I saw it wasn’t the case for a large majority of people to have a family like mine. They didn’t have the joy of anticipation at seeing their families.

Grandpa and Grandma are the cornerstone of our family, and now I’m living in the middle of that. I never know what’s coming the next day, but know I will be around people who love me and are rooting for me to succeed. And that alone gives me the joy of anticipation for the new day.